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- Empathy in Children by Dr. Michele Borba
I connected via Twitter with Dr. Michele Borba ED. D, who is an amazing speaker and educator. She said that we can publish some of her articles. They are excellent and appeal to neuro typical and special needs children as well.
She like Mari Nosal are accomplished writers, and experts in their fields.
One strong characteristic of morally intelligent children is that they are empathic and concerned about others. An important point to remember is that while our kids are born with the potential for empathy and generosity, those traits aren’t guaranteed. Researchers have discovered that a strong commonality of those kids who acquire them is how they were raised. That means parents can be enormously influential in helping their kids be concerned about others needs by prioritizing it in their homes. It’s a slow, gradual evolution, but if you are consciously boosting those traits as a parent now, chances are much stronger you’ll have success and your child will develop those traits.
Boost the concept of gratitude into your daily living. We seem to have a lot of “gimme” kids these days and it’s because they’ve learned that their parents will oblige their every whim. So don’t! Establish guidelines and stick to them. My girlfriend noticed her mother-in-law was overindulging her kids in material gifts and finally told her that was not the kind of kids she wanted to raise. She asked her to please reduce their number of presents and put the money instead in their college fund. The key here is the mom determined how she wanted her kids to turn out, and then consciously begin raising them that way. Stretch your child to think about other people’s concerns and needs. Here are a few ideas that might help you:
Have her switch roles. The next time there’s a conflict between your child and a friend (or between you and your child) ask her to stop and think how the other person would feel if the roles were reversed. Then ask her to talk about the problem AS IF SHE WERE THE OTHER PERSON. “What would the other person say and do?” If she is very young, it is helpful to use puppets so that each puppet can represent the person in the conflict. It builds empathy.Call attention to insensitive behavior. Any time your child acts unkindly, use it as an opportunity to help him become more sensitive to the feelings of other people. Just point out the impact of her actions: “Telling Bert to leave because you wanted to play with Sally was inconsiderate. How would YOU feel?” “Not asking Daddy if he wanted to watch a TV show was unkind. How would you feel?”
Be an example of generosity. Try to find natural ways to help her “give” to others so she understands the joy giving can bring. Start by doing it yourself and having her watch and do it with you. Here are a couple of ideas: “The neighbor is sick; let’s make an extra bowl of soup and bring it to her.” “Daddy is so tired; let’s surprise him and stack the newspapers so he doesn’t have to. ” Make giving natural and fun but help her learn to GIVE.
Expect him to share. This is one of the first moral behaviors we need to tune up in our kids starting at around 2 or 3 years of age. When he is two you can structure his sharing: “It’s his turn, then your turn, then his turn.” Little kids sometimes need an oven timer as a reminder that the other person should still be allowed to play with the toy. Before friends come over, structure “sharing” by asking him: “What things will you share with your friend?” “What do you think he would like to play?” Put away things that are very special that may cause problems. What’s important on this one is to help your child learn to think of others’ needs and feelings.
http://www.micheleborba.com/Pages/ArtBMI10.htm
A bio on Dr. Michele Borba–>
About Dr. Michele Borba
Dr. Michele Borba is an internationally recognized expert and author on children, teens, parenting, bullying and moral development. Her work aims to help strengthen children’s character and resilience, build strong families, create compassionate and just school cultures, and reduce peer cruelty. Her practical, research-based advice is culled from a career of working with over one million parents and educators worldwide.
National Media Contributor
Media outlets regularly depend on Dr. Borba as the “go-to” expert on parenting, bullying prevention, education and child/teen issues. She is an NBC contributor appearing over 100 times on the TODAY show and is the regular parenting expert on Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers where she comments on late-breaking news and offers realistic solutions. Her work has been featured on Dr. Phil, Dateline, The View, The Doctors, Fox News, The Early Show and CNN and well as in Newsweek, People, Good Housekeeping, Chicago Tribune, U.S. News & World Report, Washington Post, The New York Times and The Globe and Mail. She was an MSNBC contributor to two televised “Education Nation” specials.
Award-Winning Author
Dr. Borba is the award-winning author of 22 parenting and educational books translated into 14 languages. Titles include: Don’t Give Me That Attitude!, Parents Do Make A Difference, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, and Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me!, No More Misbehavin’, Building Moral Intelligence (cited by Publishers’ Weekly as “Among the most noteworthy of 2001”), and Esteem Builders used by 1.5 million students worldwide. She writes as the parenting expert for Dr. Oz’s website, powered by Sharecare as well a daily column for her blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check.
National Spokesperson
Dozens of major corporations, including General Mills, 3M, Ragu, All Detergent, Splenda, Office Depot, Similac, Galderma, V-Tech, Cetaphil, Learning Curve, Florida OJ, and Mastercard, have enlisted Dr. Borba as a media spokesperson. Her services include conducting satellite-media tours (radio, TV and print) as well as live Facebook chats, blogger events, U-Stream Q and A’s, and event speaking. She served as a consultant for Wall Mart, McDonalds and Johnson & Johnson on parenting and is an advisory board member for Parents magazine.
Bullying Prevention, Parenting and
Character Development Expert
Dr. Borba is recognized globally for her work in bullying prevention and character education. Her strategies to mobilize student bystanders to reduce peer cruelty were featured on Dateline and NBC’s Nightly News. She appeared as the bullying expert in the documentary, “Bullied to Silence” and is on the advisory board for the film “The Bully Project.” Her proposal: “Ending School Violence and Bullying” (SB1667) was signed into California law in 2002.
Her thirty-year career has been devoted to developing a framework to strengthen children’s character and build moral school climates. Her best-selling book, Building Moral Intelligence, and her Character Builders program for young children (Respect, Responsibility, Caring, and Peace-Making) are used in hundreds of schools and organizations worldwide. She served as a consultant for the Center Resource Group for Character Education and Civic Engagement for the U.S. Department of Education and is on the board for Character Education Partnerships.
Motivational Speaker
Dr. Borba has presented keynote addresses throughout North America, Europe, Asia and the South Pacific and has served as a consultant to hundreds of schools, parent organizations, and corporations on bullying prevention, character education, and raising strong, caring kids. Audiences include McDonald’s Global Women’s Leadership Network Conference, American Academy of Pediatrics, Boys and Girls Clubs of America, Character Plus, Phi Delta Kappa, Character Education Partnerships, the Malaysia Ministry of Education, and La Leche League.
Credentialed Expert and Educational Consultant
She received a Doctorate in Educational Psychology and Counseling from the University of San Francisco, an M.A. in Learning Disabilities and B.A. from the University of Santa Clara, and a Life Teaching Credential from San Jose State University. She is a former classroom teacher who has worked in regular education as well as with children with learning, physical, behavioral and emotional disabilities, and in a private practice for troubled youth.
Her numerous awards include the National Educator Award, presented by the National Council of Self-Esteem; Santa Clara University’s Outstanding Alumna Award; and the Award for Outstanding Contribution to the Educational Profession, presented by the Bureau of Education and Research. She was named the Honorary Chairperson for the Implementation of Self-Esteem in Hong Kong.
Wife and Mom
Dr. Borba lives in Palm Springs, California with her husband and has three grown sons.
