How to make 2014 the best year ever!!

I wish everyone a happy New Year for 2014!! I am glad to see 2013 end. I can say we survived it.

Here is a clip of one of the first new years events on the planet for 2013–>

 

Here is a positive motivational article for 2013. My family and I are going to the budget movies to see Free Birds it seems today. Hopefully 1 year from now we will be well off enough to be able to afford a regular movie theater experience. In 2014, I hope that we get our 501c3, and actually make a difference for people with autism. I also hope that 2014 is a great for for the news organization as well.

If any one has an uplifting or inspiring or miraculous story about something they experienced and I can post in on the site or sage advice for parents of autistic young folks.

I appreciate all of our readers, listeners, viewers, and followers in 2013.

Sincerely,

David J. Berkowitz
Autistic Blogger and father of 3 with autism.

I wish everyone a happy New Year for 2014!! I am glad to see 2013 end. I can say we survived it.

Here is a clip of one of the first new years events on the planet for 2013–>

 

How do I make 2014 my best year ever? – Network Marketing Tips (via http://www.mymwg.com)

“To make 2014 Your Best Year yet, You need to Change Your Philosophy … Change Your Paradigm.” The article below is written by one of my new mentors for 2014. I told him he put, in a few short words, here, the book, “Think and Grow Rich”. I…

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How Vaccine Policy & Law Threatens Parental Rights In America

How Vaccine Policy & Law Threatens Parental Rights In America (via Honey Colony)

By Dr. Mercola “THE GREATER GOOD looks behind the fear, hype and politics that have polarized the vaccine debate in America today. The film re-frames the emotionally charged issue and offers, for the first time, the opportunity for a rational and…

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Where Do You See Yourself…by S.R. Salas.

Where Do You See Yourself…

06OCT

Most hated question ever. E-V-E-R! So why is it the most often asked? And maybe it’s not, maybe it’s because I hate it so frickin’ much that I fixate on it when asked: Counselors in college forcing your hand to choose a major (seriously happened to me). Family worried you will never make a decision and leave the nest (my Mom was ecstatic that I married so young). Friends thinking you’re crazy because, not only have they chosen a career while you ‘just sat there,’ but they have already left home and are on their own. But the one that stands out most to me; that runs down my spine like a sharp, jagged fingernail? The one asked in job interviews again and again:

“So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?”  

(asked with a smile I’d personally like to wipe off my interviewer’s face)

I cannot possibly wrap my Autistic brain around that question. Truth be told, I don’t actually know what it means. I hear the words and know it’s one of those psychological questions HR(Human Resources) throws out there to discern a candidate’s aspirations, goals and job longevity. The question I’m suppose to answer making myself shine like a beacon screaming:“Pick me! I’m the one!!”

But I think it’s bogus. 

You’re trying to tell me there are people out there that know what they want? And that they have different goals at various stages throughout their lives? That they plan for these things, take the necessary steps and work directionally to attain these final goals? Seriously?

Fascinating… What must that be like?

There Is No Future

Hang on before you worry yourselves that this is going to be a bleak post of sadness and despair. It most certainly is not. I know my blogging has been scarce the last month (I’m remedying that as we speak)… but you guys know me better than that!

Moving along…

I was tweeting with my friend, Dave the other day and a subject came up that I have discussed with other Autistic friends as well. And it is this:

We see no future.

[Note:  This is not a figurative ‘cry for help.’ It is very literal in the sense that we actually cannotsee a fututre.]

Now, Dave is Autistic like I am, and we see eye-to-eye on quite a lot of things – which is a refreshing change of pace considering I’ve been misunderstood and been misunderstanding things my entire life. So when he tweeted me the other day:

“I’m a little lost in myself at the moment,  for the first time ever the future has started to worry me… I have a hard time picturing things…”

I stopped in my tracks. Dave was worried about a future he had a hard time picturing (it was like he was taking the thoughts right out of my head). I had been considering a post about my perceptions of the future and what it means – or  rather, doesn’t mean – to me. And then Dave happened to tweet the magical (and reassuring) message above.

“I’m quoting you!”

I told him. It was an obvious sign to write this post, so here we go…

 

What Are Your Thoughts?

When I ask you where you see yourself in 5 years you may say:

  • Graduating college
  • Married
  • Having children
  • Owning your own home
  • Running your own business
  • Running from the law
  • Writing a bestselling novel
  • Accepting the Nobel Peace Price
  • Retiring
  • Etc…

And if you can’t answer right away, you might think on it a bit. Consider your likes and dislikes, your wants and needs in regards to these things, and where you’d like to see yourself…

down the road.

 

Road? There’s A Road?

Where the hell’s the map?!  You see, when I tell you I don’t see a future, that’s exactly what I mean. Don’t get me wrong, routine-wise, I have each day planned down to a ‘T’ – but that’s not what this is about. We’re talking big time future. The next decade and, even more ambiguous…

T h e    R e s t    O f    Y o u r   L i f e

Well now there’s a scary thought. How on Earth am I suppose to sit here and guess what the rest of my life is going to look like. Aside from my routine, I don’t know what next week is going to look like. And you’re talking big time future! I’m not there. I’ve never been there. And yes I have certain likes and dislikes but what does that have to do with where I’ll be in say 5-10 years? And how do I know what I want now is what I’ll want…

down the road?

The Big Picture And How I Consistently Miss It

I’m a detail person. I will find the needle in the haystack. Every. Time. However, the Big Picture is a mythical beast I’ve never had the pleasure of encountering. Heard of it many times, though, and it sounded something like this…

“Renée, you’re missing the Big Picture.”

**sigh**

I cannot see past the day I am in. Unless it is a question of schedule or routine, I really can’t do it. Maybe that’s why it took me 39 years to find a career. And I’ll be honest, I did not choose to become a writer. Or an advocate. Or a blogger. Every single one of those things happenedthrough others’ suggestions. I was messing around and wrote a fiction book and J said: “Hey, why don’t you write a book about being Autistic.”

So I did.

I didn’t know anything about advocacy. I had been advocating, but I didn’t realize that’s what it was. My kids needed certain things, so I made sure they got them. Because that’s what parents do. And the VBPD PIP program for advocacy, that I gush about every so often? Didn’t know a thing about it. My friend Fran said: “You need to do this!”

So I did.

And blogging? I didn’t even know what it was exactly. Then J (of course) said to me: “You need to start a blog for your advocacy.”

So  I did.

So this is the part in our relationship where I show you my Achilles heel. This independent person that seemingly moves through life with purpose; that cannot fathom listening to or taking others’ advice; that will not ask for help; that will research a subject until she’s blue in the face because she can’t ask someone else for information and believe it’s not faulty in some way…

Cannot plan her own future.

(this fact evident in what I revealed to you above)

So Here I Am…

Smack dab in the middle of the Big Picture: My future. Yesssss! Well done me! Must have been all that planning and hard work. All that futuristic insight I nurtured from such a young age. The constant care and consideration of that fateful question:  “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Right?

Wrong

I couldn’t see the future when I was 10. Or 20. Or 30 or even now at 41. I will never see the future because the fact of the matter is, it is truly impossible for me to do. In 5 years I will end up where I end up. Simple as that. It’s all conjecture at this point because anything can happen. And that’s at the crux of it my dear friends, because if anything can happen then that means

Renée does not have control.

(And I think we all know how Renée feels about control because she told us about it here).

There is no way to control the future. Perhaps that’s the reason I’m unable to even tackle the idea of it, because there are too many unknown variables. Too many possibilities. Too many choices. We can choose a course or direction and it might work out the way we plan… kinda’ sorta.’ And most that I know fit in that category – they get where they’re going one way or another (but at the very least they know where they’re going). However, I’ve never met anyone that said to me:

“Wow! Life truly is perfect because everything I always wanted happened exactly the way I knew it would.”

And that thought gives me pause. Maybe it’s okay to admit that I can’t see the future. And maybe it’s okay for me to live ‘in the moment’ because I’ve (accidentally) surrounded myself with good people and I’m safe. And, yes I admit it’s impossible for me to see down the road. I own that. But maybe that doesn’t make me the slacker I always thought I was for not pre-planning my life and knowing exactly where I’d be like everyone else did.

Maybe I should have just played it up whenever asked, as if I knew what was what. Like in my last job interview (years ago), when the woman baited me with, where I saw myself in 5 years. Maybe just for the hell of it I should have said:

“In your position, and I’ll do it in two.”

Then maybe I wouldn’t have been the only one in the room fearing an unforeseeable future at a loaded question.

http://srsalas.com/?p=3477

 

 

This can explain why despite nearly an MBA, a BS in Business, 8 years in the army, I have interviewed for many good jobs, but never get them, and typically wind up with so, so jobs. I stink at interviewing, am great at the job, but it is the interview that kills me as well.

Asperger syndrome By Latentexistence

Asperger syndrome (via http://www.latentexistence.me.uk/)

I’ve always been a very isolated person. I spent much of my childhood immersed in books of a level far beyond that appropriate for my age. I have never been comfortable meeting new people or in new situations, I had very few friends at school or…

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Father and son with Asperger’s at the heart of memoir ‘Raising Cubby’

Father and son with Asperger's at the heart of memoir 'Raising Cubby' (via NewsCanada-Plus)

Health-News.Network Father and son with Asperger’s at the heart of memoir ‘Raising Cubby’ John Elder Robison, author of “Raising Cubby,” a memoir about Robison discovering his son, who like him, has Asperger syndrome, a form of autism, speaks…

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Educating Children With Autism: Best Practices

 

Educating Children With Autism: Best Practices

1 out of every 110 children in the United States has Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Autism spectrum disorders occur when problems with brain development impact a person’s ability to function normally. A person diagnosed with ASD can vary from mild issues to severe problems, creating a unique challenge for educating those affected by the disorder. However, certain practices tend to work better at educating children with autism than others.
Structure
Children with autism need structure in their learning environments. An autistic child needs to know what’s going to happen next in his/her day, and this pattern needs to continue in order to keep focus and prevent behavioral issues. Provide visual tools to help promote structure, such as a visual schedule of activities for the day so that the child knows what happens next. Another important aspect of structure is follow-through. If a learning activity is announced, it’s important that what’s announced actually occurs.

Individualized Instruction
When creating a learning plan for an autistic child it’s important to understand that each child is different and has different strengths, weaknesses, and learning styles. With this in mind, it’s important to individualize each child’s learning plan. Include each child’s individual interests and preferences into learning activities to help focus and increase involvement. Also take into consideration the intensity of instruction. While some children may thrive under more intense learning activities, others may feel discouraged, so augment your methods to keep children motivated. The goals of the family should also be involved when creating a learning plan.

Positive Behavior
Autistic children have unique needs when it comes to behavior monitoring and control. Negative behavior often occurs as a way for a child to get a specific result. To help combat negative behavior it’s important to teach an autistic child positive ways to get the same results in order to reduce, or in some cases even eliminate negative behavior. It’s also important to bear in mind other factors that may cause the behavior changes, such as environmental factors. These factors can easily be altered or managed through functional behavior assessment, which involves determining what’s causing the behavior and simply removing or developing strategies to prevent whatever is causing the negative reaction.

Family Connection
Family plays an important role in the education of an autistic child, especially when setting overall learning goals. The family plays a role in two specific ways. First, the family typically knows the child better than an educator − including behavioral triggers, strengths, and weaknesses. Second, the lessons learned in the classroom need to be taught in the home as well. This allows the child the ability to not only practice new skills, but learn to use the skills in other surroundings outside the classroom.

When approaching the education of a child with an autism spectrum disorder, it’s essential to realize that each child is unique, and an individualized approach for each case will ensure the best results. Following the tips above will help guide your choices, providing a starting point for your child to learn and grow.

 

Ryan Hayes writes all about education. His recent work is on The 10 Best Online Masters in Education Degree Programs.

Art: The Key to Teach Kids with Autism

 

Art: The Key to Teach Kids with Autism

One of the most confusing and frustrating experiences in a parent’s life can be the diagnosis of his/her child with autism spectrum disorder. A particularly difficult disorder to cope with because a parent’s communication with his/her child can feel restricted or even invalidated. Fortunately, autism has in recent years also had many developments that have improved relationships between autistic children and their families.
Developments Within the Field
Many experts are optimistic that as the body of knowledge surrounding autism grows, autism’s core problems, involving methods of interaction between autistic children and others, will make significant strides in progress. Indeed, in only a few decades, our culture’s understanding of autism has made great inroads thanks to the work and cooperation of dedicated researchers, families, and autistic children themselves.

The Benefits of Art Therapy on Autism
One such development has included the use of art therapy in the treatment of autism, which as a field and form of psychotherapy attempts to widen the scope of communication that patients can have through means of artistic expression. Promoting a greater understanding on the part of autistic patients and the world around them, art therapy has helped numerous people with autism spectrum disorder gain a sense of control over their lives. As a disorder that has an enormous effect on abilities to communicate, autism can be particularly stressful for those who suffer from the disorder, in many ways because children and adults with autism often recognize the difficulties they have in communicating with loved ones and react to these difficulties with stress and confusion.

Different Forms of Expression
The last several decades have seen many practitioners of art therapy and other forms of psychotherapy exploring the benefits of the field. As a form of education and of communicating with children with autism spectrum disorder, art therapy has been shown to strengthen bonds between family members and teachers as well as to provide a positive element in the lives of patients and families. Allowing a child to express themselves through painting or video work, for example, can often provide a much-needed outlet for personal expression on the child’s part.

Seeking to Understand
Numerous studies have suggested that art therapy can benefit children with autism by establishing gentle parameters for communication and by making communication a less stressful process. While the connection between art therapy and the treatment of autism is still a new one, many therapists are also finding that its rewards are immensely helpful for parents’ relationships with their children. When a parent takes time to examine what the child has made during therapy, they’ll also be able to get a glimpse of the child’s understanding of the situation. Such an examination can act as a profound form of empathy to a child.

Connection to Self
Art therapy’s basic tenets of seeking resolution through personal expression seem particularly apt when it comes to the treatment of autism, for example. Autism tends to blur boundaries between the sense of self of the patient and others, so art therapy directly addresses the areas of life where autistic children are most likely to need help in communication matters. Art methods such as self-portraiture and other forms of expression can also provide a deeply personal way for children with autism to express themselves to parents and teachers in a way that creates a sense of profound connection between them.

Expert Advice
In a recent article in the American Art Therapy Association, author Nicole Martin suggests that the relationship between the treatment of autism with art therapy has been used to develop such key coping traits as symbol formation and socialization. While Martin concludes that the field still needs exploration by professionals to better establish its benefits on patients, the author is optimistic that with the right direction and work, the treatment of autism with art therapy can thrive. If so, art therapy may one day take its place as a major force for good in treatment of the disorder. By keeping up with strides being made in the field, parents can often learn much more about how best to connect with their children.

 

Jonathan Ryan writes all about special education and child development. His recent work is on the Best Online Master of Arts in Teaching (MAT) Programs.

The #Autism Family Daily: Introductions by Lost and Tired

The #Autism Family Daily: Introductions (via www.lostandtired.com)

I have readers all over the globe, in just about every country. It occurred to that everyone is on different schedules and time zones.  This can make it a bit challenging to try and stay up to date on the Lost and Tired clan.. Instead of having to…

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Good morning #Autism Community By: Lost and Tired, our friends in spirit.

Good morning #Autism Community (via www.lostandtired.com)

Hey everyone.  We are having a pretty decent morning on this fine Fall Saturday.  Everyone sorta laid around until 8:30 am before getting up and wanting to eat breakfast. There’s something to be said about a day that doesn’t begin with screaming…

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