Tag Archives: special needs

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A Story Of teaching And learning About Empathy In An After-School Program-Mari Nosal

Mari Nosal
Mari Nosal
Mari Nosal

Here is a fine article from Mari Nosal that really made me think–>

http://marimouth.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/a-story-of-teaching-and-learning-about-empathy-in-an-after-school-program/

I was perusing an old reflective journal from grad school. It is a heartwarming story about teaching and learning about empathy. This is a long forgotten story but one worth sharing. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed participating in this activity in my After school program.

1rst. excerpt ; A long-term project has been the topic of discussion for the last month. My fondest hope is to build character and empathy in the children through a donation drive for the homeless shelter. Children learn compassion for fellow human beings through example. Compassion is a positive character trait that becomes an innate quality. It is carried into adult hood. As children grow and seek employment, the ability to be a team player will be non negotiable. No question, literacy is important. It is a major component of positive assimilation into adult society. The concept of team work and empathy our valuable components as well.

Empathy towards co – workers can avail adults the chance of a successful career. These traits are developed in early childhood. My long-term project has a major focus. It will emphasize what power children have when working as part of a team. Children often feel powerless. They often believe they are not capable of achieving anything of worth to adults. Hopefully, by the end of April these children will be equipped with self empowerment skills that will take them far in life. We are designing a giving tree. It sits on the wall by the art center. The children can pick a blank leaf. They may take the leaf home write the item down that they wish to donate to the families at the homeless shelter. When the item of choice is returned to the school, the leaf is placed back on the tree. A box sits by the door waiting to be filled with donations. The parents were asked to let the children pick the item of choice.

Parents may feel that a child’s donation is not the same item they would have chosen. By not coercing the child by choosing the item, parents are instilling choice making skills in the kids. The children are sorting, and packing the items every Friday. I will deliver the items to the shelter. We will add cheery notes and pictures from the school age class to our donation box. The shelter has agreed to let their children respond back to the school age class. These will be memorable pen pals. Lessons will be learned, and a widened understanding of our world will develop.

2nd excerpt: I held a circle today to gain an understanding of how much my young charges comprehend about charitable projects. We have gone over basic concepts such as the definition of a donation, and what kinds of notes we will write to the children. I first asked the children what the definition of a donation is. A child promptly raised her hand. Her definition was quite interesting. The child said a “donation is when we give away things that we don’t like”. This is a direct example of how children access and scrutinize the adults in their life.

This child was mimicking others in her social circle. I responded by explaining that sometimes we donate things that others need. I added that this is a hard thing to do. We may choose a toy for our project. The child may decide that they would like to keep the toy. However, sometimes we need to realize that we have many nice things at home. The one toy we donate may be the only toy this child will own. Some may see this concept as above a child’s cognitive level. If adults take the time to model and explain, children surprise us with their level of compassion. Sometimes they are more empathetic than adults.

The next topic covered was the content of the pen pal letters. I asked the group what we should write in the letters. One child suggested that we write, “I am sorry you do not have a house”. I gently told the group that it was a wonderful sentiment but perhaps we could tell the children at the shelter about our hobbies, names, favorite foods, etc. In actuality, the child’s statement had shown a simple level of comprehension in regards to why families live at the shelter. I believe the children will be shocked when the kids at the shelter write back with similar likes and dislikes. Perhaps the children will find a kindred spirit in the shelter kids. Utopian in thought, no doubt, but doable!

3rd excerpt: I entered class today and assessed the leaves on our giving tree. I have been working long and hard on this project. A mere six leaves contained names of children who had donated to the homeless shelter project thus far. I have broached the components of our project for months. I have written, printed, and dispensed fliers to notify parents of our project. I pondered the idea of passing this project off as a bad idea. Perhaps the utopian lens I view this project through is clouded. I assumed that parents would embrace this project with positive support. After all, it is a unique chance for their children to learn empathy.

Approximately one hour after I pondered canceling the shelter project two families entered with donations. The donations were notable. Diapers, an inflatable infant pool, sandals, shorts, rain boots, and bathing suits, the items were of notable value, and seasonally appropriate for the warm months ahead. I addressed the director about canceling my project. She responded with positive support. The general consensus was that the project was beneficial to my students and the shelter. I was looking at the quantity of donations, and names on the donation leaves. The director reminded me that this project was beneficial in more ways than met the eye. The director reminded me of the many facets to this project. I am teaching the children to step out of the box. They are being challenged to help those in need. The children are learning that our needs are not the only ones to be met in society. One needs to learn to put others before themselves. They will hopefully learn to step outside the insulated bubble some of them live in.

I realize this is a concept that cannot be fully comprehended at the tender age of five, six, seven, and eight years of age. In reality, some of their parents live in a secluded bubble. There is much power to the phrase, “the apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree. Hopefully, I can instill the building blocks for empathetic, action oriented behavior. In years to come, when the children’s brains have developed to a mature cognitive level the memories of this project will guide their maturing brains. Perhaps, a connection will be made. Time and maturity will tell.

The children are learning letter writing skills. They write notes to the children at the shelter which are to be delivered with the donations. I have received approval from the director for the shelter children to write back as long as last names are not used to protect identities. My hope is for the children in my program to make the connection through writing letters that the children at the shelter are composed of flesh, bones, and emotion. Will this connection cause a larger interest in donating to our cause? My fondest wish is to be able to respond with an adamant yes. I will deliver the first shipment to the shelter during the upcoming weekend.

I will persevere, be creative, and not give up on my utopian dream. To assist in the assimilation of future empathetic, open-minded leaders into society! I will take advantage of the plasticity of their young minds and hopefully alter their schemas. If I don’t make an effort, I am not doing my job as an educator.

4th. excerpt: A young girl entered my classroom with some wonderful donations this morning. I was excited to see that she was finally getting excited and wanted to participate. This five-year old child seemed to display great difficulty in grasping the reasoning behind this project. She is extremely bright. She is a came from a wealthy family. Every whim, wish, and desire is granted. She has not been exposed to the atrocities of homelessness at any level. A couple of months ago I had posed a question to the class. I asked if they knew what a donation was. This child raised her hand. She said that donations are things we give away that we don’t like.

I gently explained that donations are given to help people who do not have any money. We try to give away things we no longer have use for. However we always give away things that we would like if we didn’t already own so many nice things. I believed that this child was indifferent to our project. Today would prove me wrong. I would be reminded that assumptions have no place in my class room. As the little girl stood by the donation box, I eyed her hand. It was squeezed into a fist. Something hung out of the end of her tight little fist.

Upon further observation I noticed it was money. I asked the child what was in her hand. She stated that she wished to drop a one dollar bill in the shelter box. I asked her if it was her money, or her parents. She proudly told me that the dollar was from her piggy bank. She had been saving for a new toy. She recalled my comment about poor children that have no toys whatsoever. The little girl dropped the dollar in the shelter box. She said that she wanted a poor child to buy a personal toy with the dollar she gave them. This was one of those days when a catch phrase is appropriate, and validated. That phrase is “and a little child shall lead us”!

Mari N.

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A Parent is Their Child’s First Teacher by Mari Nosal with permission of Enabled Kids Canada

Mari Nosal
Mari Nosal
Article from Enabled Kids by Mari Nosal

Here is another nice article with regards to special needs education by Mari Nosal, a fellow parent of Autistic kids and she is also an educator as well. I can relate in many respects, I am asperger’s and have 3 kids on the spectrum.

Parenting our children is a full time, and occasionally scary job. When our children are born, we are the first people that they interact with. We provide stimulating environments, experiences, and safe challenges that encourage a child’s continuous development. Parents are cheerleaders, coaches, academic tutors, and provide a safe and nonjudgmental haven where children can feel free to make mistakes. Children realize that, in the safety of a home with supportive parents, they will not be judged and can therefore take on safe challenges. This is most important for children with learning disabilities as their home front and loving parental support provide a haven away from school, where they may struggle to fit in with peers daily. Education is defined as any experience which provides learning and growth to be achieved. Parents can view themselves as important co-teachers. They can provide schools with the difficulties or learning growth that is taking place on the home front. Parents can provide complementary support to the child’s teacher as well by continuing what a child learns at home. The message I am attempting to convey is that teachers, parents, educators, and more are all instrumental educators within their child’s life. Remember parents, you are an important component in your child’s development, so never underestimate your effectiveness. Most of all, keep dreaming, hoping, smiling, and lastly never ever give up. Always believe in yourself and your children.

Mari

As I sit and ponder what it means to be an educator, a powerful vision comes to mind: A flock of geese following one another in a perfect V formation. There is a correlation between the perfect educational system, and the teamwork geese employ as they soar through the blue skies.
One bird flaps its wings and creates an updraft for the bird behind it. The geese place themselves strategically. The strongest bird is in front. The weakest bird is in the back. One can surmise the reasoning for this. The strongest bird can lift the weakest bird with an updraft. As the stronger bird tires, the formation changes, the weaker bird now has a reserve of energy. Thus, the energized bird takes the place of the exhausted bird.
Like geese, people cannot fly solo. Education encompasses a large network of people. In order to educate the whole child, one must think of the process as more than academics. Social, emotional, familial, and environmental issues are part of the education process. Expecting a teacher to perform these duties alone is sure to breed chaos. Teachers need support when teaching becomes difficult.
Like the geese, the tired teacher needs someone to support them. The teacher needs time to go to the back of the flock and re-energize. Upon re-energizing, the educator can than successfully lead the flock once more. They are not co-dependent, but inter-dependent with parents and their peers. It is a vital instrument that ensures a positive classroom climate.
As geese form a perfect V formation, educators, administrators, and the community must work cohesively as a unit. The mutual goal should be the successful assimilation of the children into a society. If the children are not empowered with the skills to be productive members of society, successful assimilation has not occurred. If a bird tires, and another geese does not support their weak moment in flight, the formation is disrupted.
The weaker bird will tire and plummet. When assisting a child in developing to their fullest capacity, one does not get a second chance to repair the mistakes made. The inevitable result of no cohesive unit is a teacher who will plummet like the geese. The child will be left with negative self efficacy. Lack of support for the teacher breeds feelings of futility. Futility soon breeds apathy. There is a domino effect. The child becomes the recipient of the teacher’s apathetic demeanor. If the teacher loses their zest for teaching, the child loses their zest for learning.
My personal goal is continuously equip myself with the knowledge and skills to help communities become socially and academically well rounded. My utopian world is one where all individuals gain self empowerment skills, positive self efficacy, and learn skills for success. These are the building blocks for success. May everyone fly in the V formation. May No Child Be Left Behind.

This is a poem I wrote a while back. I believe it displays my ideology on what a teacher’s and parent’s role is.

Here is a wonderful poem by Mari Nosal as well quite nice–>

My Guide

Oh teachers listen closely

For this you need to know

My future rests right in your palm

I need you as I grow

My destiny is yours to shape

By words you choose to use

Encourage me, tell me I’m great

Your power do not abuse

Believe in me and I will shine

I will not let you down

Give up on me and let me fail

My choice will be to drown

Please teach me all you know my friend

Do not give up and leave

And I will thrive because I knew

In me you did believe

I have the talent to succeed

But sometimes feel lost

Please help me so I find my way

No matter what the cost

Don’t leave me on the tough days

I need to know you’ll stay

For you help me to grow and learn

And assure me i’m o.k.

Support me, guide me, and teach me

My fate is up to you

For with your words I’ll fail or win

It is up to you you’ll see

Please don’t leave nor write me off

I am worthy of your time

I promise I’ll not fail you

To give up would be a crime

My future is up to you you’ll see

In you I do believe

I will succeed and fulfill my dreams

If you walk with me

In order for me to succeed

I can not walk alone

Don’t give up on me and walk away

My emotions will turn to stone

Teachers listen closely

I need your help today

Help now and I promise

I will make you proud one day

MARI NOSAL

Previously Published on Enabled Kids Canada, See link–>link

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Day Of Observation In Daycare Classrooms – From Infant To School-Age–>By Mari Nosal

Light it up blue for Autism!!!

Our friend Mari Nosal sent me an opportunity to publish one of her fine articles. This is one I can relate to I am also hyper functioning but asperger’s as are my 3 kids. All can say is it totally makes sense.

Light it up blue for Autism!!!

http://marimouth.wordpress.com/2012/04/04/a-message-to-parents-with-young-children-presenting-with-aspergers-syndrome-from-a-seasoned-parent-of-a-young-adult-with-aspergers/

A Message to Parents with Young Children with Asperger’s From A Seasoned Parent of A Young Adult With Asperger’s

As a seasoned parent of a son with Asperger’s, and please note I have a son with Asperger’s, not an Aspie son. I define him as a young man not Asperger’s. You will also note that I do not refer to Asperger’s as a disorder. I refer to it as a syndrome. A disorder alludes to something or someone that is broken and needs to be fixed. i.e. a computer virus that can be repaired. A syndrome is a challenge that one must adapt to and live with. Compensatory strategies may be taught to ensure a level of success. But Asperger’s can’t be fixed.

I have most definitely experienced a multitude of emotions in terms of of parenting my son to young adulthood, and still do.. If I named every emotion I have felt, they would most likely have a length span which would originate on earth and reach as high as the furthest star in space.

To name several, I have experienced apprehension which was resultant in my fear for my sons future. I felt pain from the inevitable ostracism he endured at the hands of peers, and adults. I have experienced sadness which originated from my sons struggles and not conforming to my perception of who he was intended to be, the person I visualized he would become, and the things I felt he should think and feel.

I have felt the uncertainty resulting from naysayer’s comments and predictions of who my son would become as a person both developmentally and behaviorally. Naysayers predicted how my son would develop and what his future achievements or lack thereof. One would think professionals and society at large had psychic abilities and peered into a crystal ball to make predictions.

To parents with newly diagnosed children, I am here to emphatically implore you never to give up hope. If you give up hope, your children will certainly give up as well. You will get frustrated, feel the uncontrollable urge to bang your head on a wall, cry, and yes at times even wonder why you were blessed with a child with Asperger’s. You may even, (horrors) wish that your child would go away.

You may find yourself feeling intense pangs of jealousy when you see your child’s schoolmates walk by in a clique laughing away as they enjoy their day of play together. You may even experience intense anger and jealousy towards other parents while you silently wonder why their child was not born with challenges.

These feelings are all normal. Parents are human beings. Wishing your child would go away while you are under duress does not mean you really want him to disappear. On the contrary – it means you have invested so much love and expended so much effort into doing what is best for your child, that you merely crossed the line from loving them to the point exhaustion.

If you are the parent of a younger child, please do not surround yourselves with, nor listen to the naysayers who predict a life of doom, gloom, and anguish for your child. After all, you know your child better than anyone. You live with them 24-7. Trust your instincts. A parent knows what is best for their child. You are your child’s best advocate. Your child will take two steps backward for everyone they take forward. Adjust your expectations. Do not be hard on yourself and note merely the steps backwards. I f you adjust your expectations and look hard enough for the small steps forward you will be surprised at the growth that was not seen.

Children with Asperger’s do develop and succeed within the right environment. The anxiety stems from basing our expectations on what the Jones’s kids down the street are doing, what our friends and neighbors think of our children and us as parents. If we let go of those expectations and gauge successes on our child’s developmental and cognitive level and not other children their age, we will be pleasantly surprised.

Note your child’s achievement’s in baby steps. Do not worry about what your child will achieve ten years down the line. i.e. will they have a girlfriend, kids, get married, have friends, or simply get a decent job that will enable them to live independently. Remember that the average child with Asperger’s has a developmental age that lags 4 years behind their chronological age.

As the parent of a young adult son with Asperger’s I am hear to tell you that they have many attributes to appreciate. On a humorous note I will start with my son’s knowledge of electronics and computers. This sense of awe I now have for his computer talents were a sense of frustration when he was young. I cannot count how many computers he corrupted and how many mother boards he damaged while dismantling our computers, rebuilding them, and programming them with incompatible hardware.

As a little boy with Asperger’s, my son imitated people with foreign accents in public places. His lack of discretion would cause me to become flush from embarrassment. His knack for impersonations has come in handy when telemarketers call. My son convinces them that he is from a foreign country and doesn’t understand English. The telemarketers inadvertently hang up. I will emphasize that he has learned the fine art of discretion and outgrow public renditions of impersonations.

That young man has grown up to be a computer whiz and can now install modems, set up our new computers, and install programs safely. His talents have saved us a princely some of money for cable personnel, phone personnel, and computer repairman that did not warrant calling due to his self taught expertise. My fondest memory was when the cable company wanted to come out and set up our new digital cable box. My so offered to do it for free. My digital system was set up in all of 12 minutes. My son was the ripe old age of twelve at the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thus, what was deemed a negative and aggravating personality trait as a child has proved to be an attribute as a young adult.

As a young child my son was prone to emotional meltdowns from sensory overload. As a teenager he would provide a verbal debate for any topic or request directed towards him. If I sent him to his room for being argumentative, his debate often continued in a solitary dialogue as a soliloquy. His strong personality allowed him to walk away from children who were doing drugs, etc. Yes, a sense of nonconformity can have its merits. His debate skills turned into a talent for writing.

A humorous example from his childhood would be when we attempted to use the magic 1, 2, 3, program to teach appropriate behavior skills. Our son would act inappropriately and we would put up 1, 2, 3, fingers. When he continued to voice his opinion we sent him to his bedroom. After several weeks of implementing the behavioral program we realized that he would act up ,hence get sent to his room right before we were due to leave for church. We realized he goaded us into implementing the 1, 2, 3, program so he would not have to go to church. We quickly modified that and informed him that he would be expected to go to his room AFTER church. My son walked away and yelled, “That magic one, two, three doctor is a quack” :-0)

I am proud to say that by injecting a little humor, perseverance, venting occasionally to anyone that would listen, and most importantly adjusting our expectations to my sons needs he recently received his bachelor’s degree in psychology from college with a struggle, but much perseverance on his and our part. He successfully lived in the dorm. Again he struggled, but we were 45 minutes away if he needed us but wanted to give him a taste of independence. Independence that did not include the normal socialization of college life by neurotypical standards. But being with peers and fending for himself nonetheless. As I mentioned earlier, process and accept it in baby steps.

My son has a driver’s license. He passed after three failed attempts, but along with us he persevered and never gave up. Make no mistake our family still struggles, worries, and gets frustrated just like other parents. But as time has passed we have learned not only the art of teaching our son to accommodate us but to realize we need to accommodate him as well. I equate our quest with accepting my son. If we expect him to learn societal mores of the neurotypicals than we must attempt to make adjustments for him as well.

When in a foreign country Americans tend to expect foreigners to speak English so we can comprehend them. Shouldn’t we make the same accommodations for individuals with Asperger’s as well? They speak a different language than neurotypicals hence they can learn the world of neurotypicals but we can learn about the Aspergian lifestyle as well.

Parents, I leave you with this. If you have not pulled so much hair out of your head from frustration at this point I salute you. Yes, it does get better:-0)

Rock on, give your selves a pat on the back for a job well done as parents, and know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Mari Nosal, M.Ed., CECE

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Autism Awareness, Our Ireport on CNN

autism advocacy and technology news zone
autism advocacy and technology news zone
help us to help autism

 

AUTISM ADVOCACY AND TECHNOLOGY NEWS ZONE
By David Joseph Berkowitz

As an individual with high functioning Asperger syndrome, a kind of autism, and the father of three kids who are also on the spectrum for this disorder, I have always felt a need to make a difference for the people with autism. I dream of establishing a national organization like the American Heart Association or American Cancer Society to make living on the spectrum better for those with autism related disorders. Utilizing my knowledge and passion for technology with my personal experience and interest in autism, I launched our site, on January 11, 2011 .

We are a tech-focused state nonprofit. As we get funded we intend to help those on the autism spectrum by using technology-tablets and related computer technology plus the gift of music and the arts, to make the lives of people with autism better, and to support their families and the educational facilities that serve them.

We have a unique approach, view point and ideas.

Our Plan:

Our intent is to give the gift of technology through donated tablets and along with proper training to children and young adults with autism, their families, and the educational programs and schools that could make use of them. We also plan to fund applications to use with the technology.

Tablets are a very kinesthetic device which seems to make learning easier for many people with autism. Tablets like Apple iPads aid in education and improve the level of involvement in many aspects of their lives. However, a decent tablet runs $400-$800 which is very expensive for most families of people with autism.

Our second intent is to give the gift of music and the arts. Schools are very short on funding especially for the arts and music. Most parents of kids with autism cannot afford instruments, band trips, choir events and other arts materials. We want to help.

We will donate musical instruments to people with autism and education to improve quality of life. In addition, we will give the resources to provide help to theatre programs in both private and in public schools, as well as other arts that accept people with autism in their programs. We strive to promote inclusion and acceptance.

In order to further the quality of life for people with autism we want to expose them to cultural events. We will donate tickets, to musical events, theater, and other arts to enrich their lives.

I feel that many people with autism are talented in the arts and music. Even if not talented in the arts, I feel they can definitely benefit from the exposure to arts, music and technology.

A version of this article was originally published on The Autism Spot, an excellent resource for autism related topics.

http://www.autismspot.com/blog/Guest-Piece-%E2%80%93-Autism-Advocacy-and-Technology-News-Zone

Please help us help others for the holidays!!

We need your help to donate of tech, music and the arts for the upcoming holidays. We want to give tablets to people with autism, as well as gift cards and tickets to concerts to make their holidays happier. Please go to our website now and make a donation today to help us make a difference for people with autism and their families. Even a $ 5.00 gift card or a donation on our website will make a huge difference in the quality of life for people on the autism spectrum.

We are also seeking corporate sponsors who can help us in 2012 as well.

In addition we need media exposure so please put a link to this article on your website as well.

I am smart, different, and am going about it on my own; I am not rich and need support so that I can help other people with autism. If you are interested in helping our organization, Autism Advocacy and Technology News Zone, Please do not hesitate to contact me.

David Berkowitz, President and Executive Director

Autism Advocacy andTechnology News Zone, Inc. A Nevada Nonprofit Corporation

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-769722

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Please help us to gain exposure to help people with autism, Feedburner and Technorati and for autism awareness!!!

Autism Advocacy and technology news zone founder

In order to make a difference for autism we are trying to gain exposure. We would love to have an article done on us for a magazine, online website, tv show or newspaper. We are trying to make a difference for people with autism.

NV2BGRUVDAY2

Autism Advocacy and technology news zone founder
The President of Autism Advocacy and technology news zone

A summary of our intent–>

As an individual with high functioning Asperger syndrome, a kind of autism, and the father of three kids who are also on the spectrum for this disorder, I have always felt a need to make a difference for the people with autism. I dream of establishing a national organization like the American Heart Association or American Cancer Society to make living on the spectrum better for those with autism related disorders. Utilizing my knowledge and passion for technology with my personal experience and interest in autism, I launched https://technewszone.com, on January 11, 2011 .

We are a tech-focused state nonprofit. As we get funded we intend to help those on the autism spectrum by using technology-tablets and related computer technology plus the gift of music and the arts, to make the lives of people with autism better, and to support their families and the educational facilities that serve them.

We have a unique approach, view point and ideas.

https://technewszone.com/about/advocacy-autism-personal-appeal-post-eda-cafe/

Our feedburner feed for syndication:>>

http://feeds.feedburner.com/AutismandTechResourcesfromTechnewszone

We are also on Technorati now, as well as ITUNES of our Podcasts.

Our technorati id for verification–> NV2BGRUVDAY2

our youtube channel–> http://www.youtube.com/technewszone

We are united for autism!!!

NV2BGRUVDAY2

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No Child Left Behind, Fact or Fallacy by Mari Nosal, with my opinions and commentary as well.

Left Behind?
Left Behind?
Can education for the autistic be improved?

I am trying to spread autism awareness, lend a voice to topics that are interesting to people who are either autistic or have friends or family that are. I have 3 kids on the autism spectrum, I am asperger’s as well. My kids all struggle in school and I am concerned that they will graduate and if so what have they really learned. I was quite the opposite school academics came easy, it was the social and PE related things that were difficult. I was in a way left behind, might have skipped a few grades but due to my teachers and their concern or is it lack of concern or understanding I was never allowed to skip any grades, the elementary years were a joke for me, I could read as well as I do now at 43 at 8, and my math skills were about the same as well, but I was never asked to skip grades mostly due to my teachers not really understanding or “getting” me. In that vein of thought here is a fine article by Mari Nosal with regards to her thoughts on the so called “No child left behind idea”

No Child Left Behind, Fact or Fallacy by Mari Nosal

http://marimouth.wordpress.com/2012/02/29/no-child-left-behind-fact-or-fallacy-the-state-of-our-educational-system-in-america/

Hello – I have been observing opinions of the public at large regarding the state of our educational system. I have decided to express my opinions regarding this topic. Some may like my opinions some may not. That is the perogative of human individuality. One thing I believe we can all universally agree on is that we need to discard our THEM AND US IDEOLOGY AND CHANGE IT TO A WE. All societies are dependent on one another for successful existence. May we all become a united front and remember our ultimate goal – our childrens future! Merely a thought to Ponder.

Education reform has always been dictated by societal needs. The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 was born from a need for high tech, academically savvy Americans who can compete in our interglobal society. The next generation of capitalists must be trained. American corporations are interdependent on foreign trade to survive. Foreign countries experience financial growth through interactions with America. Land Rovers and Lexus have Toyota Engine parts. Chevrolet Geo has Suzuki engine parts. Gas hails from Arabian oil wells. Patients from other countries frequent our hospitals for high risk, state of the art surgery. American educators travel the world teaching English to foreigners. American icons such as McDonalds, Pepsi, and Spiked hair cuts are noted in foreign countries. These examples are a miniscule representation of the relations and dependency that countries have on each other. Prosperity is the ulterior motive of these relations.

The ideology of No Child Left Behind is not new. Expectations in education have been cyclical throughout history. The influx of immigrants in Horace Mann’s era necessitated a curriculum that focused on Americanization of immigrant children. The intent of Mann was not altruistic. It was the assimilation of immigrants into American society as positive contributors to our economy. During the cold war era, emphasis was based on academics. A similarity to modern day schools is noted. Gone was the emphasis on the whole child. Education was reformed to produce American engineers, scientists, and mathematicians that could compete with the Russians. We had to build a bigger, better, space craft than our Russian neighbor’s.

In modern day America, as with our predecessors, molding and training students guarantees the survival of our country. In the fifties the economy depended on competing with other countries for prosperity. In modern day America, the goal is to be sought out by other countries. What deleterious effects does America’s preoccupation with growth and prosperity inflict on our society? “It became necessary to destroy the village in order to save it.” This phrase speaks a thousand words. The American ideal of survival of the fittest warrants focusing on the strongest members. The weak and assumed useless people are weeded out. Rather than find compensatory strategies that give all kids the same chance to succeed, each child is left to sink or swim. The ones who succeed will be our future leaders. The students who flounder will be left to languish in a hand to mouth existence with no skills. Children have become statistical data on an achievement graph.

Intelligence can’t be measured merely in academic form. A child may be musically inclined, athletically inclined, or artistic. A child’s learning may be impeded by learning disabilities, emotional disabilities, or a dysfunctional household. If compensatory strategies are taught the child will succeed. The standards used to assess a gifted child should differ from those for a learning disabled child. High expectations are non negotiable. However, what those expectations are differ from child to child. Challenges should be safe and individualized for each student. A challenge should create social and academic growth. If the challenge is too high, the child will shirk their academic responsibilities, and suffer irreparable damage to their self esteem.

Accommodations for individual children need to be in place in order for the academically challenged child to score within the median range on assessments. Unfortunately, accommodations cost money. In terms of education the basic mindset is less is best. A society, who will spend $150.00 on a ticket to a Football Game, yet will wage war at the threat of having real estate taxes raised for education. It is much easier to play the blame game. Blame the parents, society, teachers, and administrators. Taking personal responsibility for America’s educational dilemma would mean admitting that we all have a stake in children’s education. Not a comfortable idea for the majority of the population to ponder.

Teachers carry a huge weight upon their shoulders. The goal of the No Child Left Behind Act is to achieve success. A teacher who has the threat of her job dangled in front of her like a carrot on a stick is not going to feel success. They will experience burn out and become less productive educators. A child who does not pass the M.C.A.S. repeatedly will experience a sense of failure that will haunt them through out life. Watching peers graduate will breed a sense of futility. In the scenarios above, the outcome is predictable. For educators and children alike, frustration leads to apathy, apathy leads to indifference. The end result is that everyone loses.

Intelligence is genetic. However, it is manipulated by the environment. A bright child who receives no stimulation will underachieve. A learning disabled child who is safely challenged will rise beyond expectations. The chance of success can be increased in the right educational setting. Introduce safe challenges that a child is sure to succeed at. A domino effect will occur. Once the taste of success is felt the child will not be adverse to more challenges. Experiencing failure can cause even the brightest child to recoil from academics. Nurture can beat nature. It merely takes the right environment, realistic expectations, and an appreciation of each child’s individuality and learning styles. We all have a function to fill in society as an adult. In our democratic society, the government and stake holders should not decide what that function will be. Accept each child for who they are, and they will be accepting of themselves. No child should be left behind!

This is merely my opinion.

Stay well

Mari Nosal M.Ed., CECE

Having lived in the system, and experiencing my own children’s lives in the system I definitely agree that things could be better. I am especially concerned for the more autistic of my twin sons who is in a self contained classroom. It is more of strategic organized teenage day care. He is sixteen nearly, and still can not tie his shoes.

David Berkowitz

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Asperger’s Syndrome – A Parent’s Journey With Her Son, From Childhood To Young Adulthood by Mari Nosal

Mari Nosal my new mentor of sorts, allowed me to most graciously post this article which talks about graduation and her autistic son, since my twin autistic sons are now almost 16 this may be reflected in my life soon as well. This article was posted with her permission.

Asperger’s Syndrome – A Parent’s Journey With Her Son, From Childhood To Young Adulthood by Mari Nosal

The original article–>link

Graduation season is upon us. Many parents, special needs teens and young adults will feel stress and anxiety as they transition into the next step to independence. Whether this involves entering the adult world of employment, going off to college, or starting to live independently, this is a scary time for all families–but even more so for families that have children with special needs.

I have written a story below which includes the challenges that my family has endured from my son’s childhood to young adulthood. I have included comments regarding my fears while attempting to jettison him out into college life and onto the road to independence. Living with a child that has Asperger’s or any diagnosis is not easy. My goal in writing our story is to let parents know that they are not alone. Our family has, and is, walking that path that many others struggle with today. I am here to tell you that the challenges are worth it. It is not all darkness and gloom. Your children will make it with a little help from their family, friends, teachers, and the community. If you are a reader who has a child graduating from high school or college, allow me to extend my congratulations to you.

A Letter To My Young Adult Son

My son, you are now an adult. 23 years ago, you entered this world one month early. You made your entrance into this world with a loud wail that no one could ignore. You were an awesome baby, sleeping through the night at the ripe old age of seven weeks old. Your first year was fraught with constant infections. Fortunately these would respond to antibiotics. Although you were ill a lot, you managed to have a constant smile upon your face. You sang your way through ear infections, strep, and other maladies baby babble style.

You were extremely alert. People would remark on the fact that your expressions did not resemble that of an infant. It was noted by many that you seemed to have an elder’s wisdom in your eyes.

I recall your first word. You were standing in your crib at the age of 10 months smiling, with your arms in the air saying “uppy,uppy”. We were so excited to hear the clarity in your first word. Many other words would soon follow. By the age of 2 years, you would talk in full grammatically correct sentences.

You shocked us after toilet training experiences with your brother who is 22 months your senior. We thought he would go to college in diapers. You on the other hand went in the bathroom at age two of your own accord, pulled the tape off your disposable diaper and used the toilet independently.By the age of three, you were reading letters of cereal boxes. At age four you were reading and sounding out words. Your favorite game at age four was checkers! Embarrassing as it was, you could actually beat me at that game. Your father and I thought you were a prodigy! We would soon realize that although you were bright, issues were present that would need to be addressed. You would get frustrated when other four year olds did not understand the concept of checkers.

Upon picking you up at the age of four from preschool, I was met by your teacher. Apparently, you had problems cutting with scissors. The teacher remarked how impressed she was with your inventive persistence. Rather than ask for help, she found you with a piece of construction paper hanging half-way off the table, weighed down with a pencil sharpener. You figured out that weighing down the paper would free up your hands so you could manipulate the scissors with two hands instead of one. The teacher recommended testing by a local occupational therapist. I sat in the hall and could hear your comments in the testing room. The therapist had you stack blocks. You not only stacked twelve blocks in a row, but color coded those using only green blocks. The therapist asked you if you would like to move on to another test. You response to the therapist at the ripe old age of four, “oh no, I want to stack the blocks again instead.” I doubled over in laughter out in the hall. I admired your strong will. I did not know at the time that the strong will you possessed would get you through some challenging times.The occupational therapist diagnosed you as having a weak grip, low upper body strength, and fine motor skill delays. She recommended activities for us to do at home to help you hone your skills. We played scatch ball since pulling the ball off of the Velcro paddle increased your grip. We pulled out the old shape sorter that you outgrew at an early age. The intent was to improve your hand-eye coordination. I blew bubbles and you popped them as another hand-eye coordination activity. I was told to practice the rule that if you could not manage a task on your own, to stand back and let you struggle a bit. It pained me to hear your pleas of help when you wanted to climb the jungle gym, or use your arms to hoist your body up on a low tree branch. I wanted to swoop you up and accomplish the task for you. I knew you would not master the skill if I did so however. Stand back I did, and with practice you persevered and experienced success. With each attempt you got stronger and more adept. We attempted to perceive you and your brother as separate individuals with separate talents and characteristics. Your brother played soccer, which you had no interest in. Group competitive sports were difficult for you.

That was when we decided to let you join a bowling league. The league turned out to be a great choice, for it challenged your motor skill issues. Bowling was a great first sport at age eight, because it matched your personality perfectly. You were within a team but actually only competed against yourself. You amazed us with your fortitude and growth during your six year bowling league stint. The little boy, who couldn’t candlepin bowling at age eight with one hand, became the preteen who was bowling triple 115 scores! You struggled until third grade to coordinate the pincer grip and tie your shoes. We bought you Velcro sneakers until you were ready. You know what? You learned how to tie! Merely on your own schedule, not ours. At this point in life, you were diagnosed with A.D.D. Your father and I attempted to cheer both you and your brother on equally in all your endeavors. That was difficult. Learning disabilities can prove challenging and necessitate investing more energy into the child with challenges than the sibling who does not have any. There was so much guilt. When we were cheering you on and helping you with your challenges we worried that we were ignoring your brother. When we supported your brother, and cheered him on, we felt as though we might be ignoring you. It is a tough balancing act supporting both children and making sure their needs are both being met. Your brother reminded me of this while driving in the car alone. He said, “Mom, do you realize that you and dad talk about my brother alot? Can we talk about something else for a change? My response to your brother was, “I am so sorry. Sometimes mom and dad worry about your brother’s future. We know that you will be OK. But that is no excuse; we love you both and are proud of the talents and wonderful character that you both possess. Son, do me a favor please. If I start babbling about your brother, will you please remind me so I stop?” Your brother was satisfied with this answer and I kept my promise.

This reminded me of the delicate tightrope of uncertainty and guilt that parents with both learning disabled and non-learning disabled children grapple with everyday. Middle school would prove to open up a Pandora’s box of new challenges. In elementary school, your strong memory and verbal skills had proved sufficient for the rote learning that took place. The demands of algebra and higher math would prove difficult for you. I attempted to convince educators that you were skipping steps in math calculations due to processing issues. They felt that you merely had A.D.D. and were lazy.We must be forgiving as not much was known about Asperger’s syndrome at this point and your expressive verbal skills hid your deficits with receptive language from most individuals.Never look back; only forward. I would advocate for you on this issue until it was finally recognized in high school. Bullying issues increased in middle school as the peer pressure increased. You were considered “quirky,” yet “sweet, and shy.” As difficult as it was, I heeded the therapist’s advice. I was to be a coach and observer when it came to bullying. If the kids were not drawing blood and the issues were not incessant I was to stand in the background and use my judgment on this issue. I wanted to protect you always. Unfortunately, as the therapist pointed out, I must guide you in how to deal with people on your own as you entered your teen years. I shed some tears for you but you did learn to to self advocate. You continued playing drums in the band as you entered your high school years. This proved to be a positive choice. You see, the band created a group for you to belong to. You were bullied for the last time in ninth grade. Another freshman was challenging you and a senior from the band stepped in and stuck up for you. The bully, who was a freshman like you, took off. Band was included in your I.E.P. as important. Band was where you had a chance to socialize with others.

When I finally got new testing done for you at the high school, they were so helpful and it was refreshing to have a group of educators finally listen. You would now be diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, as well as A.D.D. You stuck with the high school band through your high school career, and we were so proud of your musical progression. We bragged about both you and your brother to anyone that would listen. Upon graduation we decided to have you go to a two year college and live at home. We felt that transitioning into adulthood and independence was best done in baby steps. By not pushing you, we felt as though it would give you a chance to work towards success instead of failure, thus giving you the incentive to keep growing. You graduated from community college with much improved grades. You than entered a local four year college as a junior. The first semester was spent living at home and driving with your new driver’s license. You attempted the drivers exam three times but never gave up and finally did it! Second semester we decided to have you live in the dorm. It was hard to let you out from under our watchful eye but we knew we had to continue helping you achieve your goals on the road to independence. It was too easy at home for you to isolate yourself from people. You were only 45 minutes away and close enough for us to visit. At first you were allowed to come home every weekend. Gradually we spaced out home visits to once a month. We would come and take you out to dinner once a week but then take you back to your dorm. We also purchased a web cam and set up times to chat with you from your dorm room so you were not too homesick.

Not too long ago, you acquired your bachelor’s degree. You are now back home, holding a full time job after a couple of failed attempts at employment in the past. Son, as you start working with your job counselor to get more training so you will not be underemployed, and as you use the college degree that you worked so hard to earn, I leave you with one comment. You have surpassed all of society’s expectations for you. You have met and conquered many challenges. I know that you will continue to do so, and will succeed in all your future endeavors as you have in the past. Please know that your mom and dad love you very much. We are so proud of you and wouldn’t have wanted you to be any different than you are. You inspire us, teach us, humble us, and make us proud. Go forth into the world, my son, and fly like an eagle. Look out world, here comes my youngest son!

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A Poem For Parents With Special Needs Children by Mari Nosal

I was referred to this Poem By Mari Nosal, an amazing advocate for autism and an author as well.

It comes from–>link

This Poem Is For My Son Who Has Aspergers – I could not be prouder of the young man he has become – even if I tried. :-0)

My Flesh and Blood

God sent you here to teach me

Some things I did not know

Through different eyes I now see

Individual paths that we all go

You’re not what I had dreamed of

The young man I thought you’d be

But you no question I love

God chose you just for me

The struggles they are worth it

We climb mountains every day

Together a fire we have lit

We’re a team in every way

On the mountain we slip and slide

Sometimes I get morose

Although it is a rocky ride

A life I never chose

I couldn’t imagine my life

With out you by my side

We do experience much strife

It floats in and out like the tide

In the end it’s worth the work

A special young man you are

Special awe of you does lurk

You have come so far

I know that you will continue to grow

I never have a doubt

Whatever paths you eventually go

May be a different route

I’ll love you for whoever you’ll be

Though different from my view

For you a great life I foresee

It will be up to you

As you go through life and become a man

And challenges confront your life

Please always remember the words I CAN

They’ll help with your strife

Remember that I love you

I always will be there

If you ever feel blue

Remember that I care

The struggles they’ll continue

Of this I’m very sure

I know I cannot change you

I know there is no cure

God sent you here to teach me

Some things I need to learn

Through your eyes I see differently

The world that I discern

All though it pains me greatly

To see you struggle as you learn

The world you venture into

Must be achieved in your own way

I can not do it for you

Your own path you’ll have to lay

You’ll fall and falter make mistakes

In God you’ll have to trust

For you my heart does sometimes ache

But let you go I must

I’ll always be behind you to help you when you fall

But you must venture out now

Your talents you must use all

You will make it on your own

I’ll be your cheering crew

Through your life much strength you’ve shown

Remember I believe in you

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Ten Commandments for Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum by Mari Nosal and related Commandments!!!

I ran into Mari Nosal recently on twitter she is the amazing writer of several articles on autism education from Enable Kids from disabled to Enabled,http://enabledkids.ca/?p=2071

A bit about the author–>

About the author
Mari Nosal has written 12 articles for Enabled Kids.
Mari Nosal, M.Ed., CECE is a school coordinator, blogger and author. She is certified by the Department of Early Childhood Education as a lead preschool teacher, an infant and toddler teacher, and site coordinator qualified to manage school age programs. She is certified in Community Crisis Intervention by the Community Crisis Intervention Team of Bristol County. As a parent of a son with Asperger’s, she and her son show others how it is possible to overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.

Ten Commandments for Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum

1. Thou shall not yell when speaking to me.
My disability does not impair my hearing and I am extremely bright. Perhaps even brighter than you are.

2. Thou shall not ignore me, talk negatively about me, speak unnaturally slow, or ask questions to others in the room that pertain to me.
I can comprehend what you are saying just fine.

3. Thou shall believe in me and help me believe in my skills and self worth.
Note the good in me and do not merely point out my negative behaviors. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

4. Thou shall not perceive me as dumb.
I am extremely intelligent. I do not learn in the same way as you, and maybe not as quickly as you expect me to. Have patience with me. Once I recall information, I never forget.

5. Thou shall not judge my behavior.
I can get overstimulated in certain environments. I may be hypersensitive to sound and loud noises may hurt my ears. Fluorescent lights are distracting for me. They have a humming noise, and can pulsate. All the noises in a room can blur together. Please make accommodations to help me.

6. Thou shall not be so quick to scold me.
Do not tell me that “I know what I did”. I do not. Tell me what my infraction was in a simple, concise manner. I want to please you, but I have difficulties inferring meaning within a vague statement. For instance, do not say please clean up your bedroom. Tell me exactly what you want, such as ‘Please make your bed and pick up your toys”.

7. Thou shall not compare me to others.
Please remind me, and note the talents that I possess. This increases my confidence and positive self worth. Learning disabled or not, we ALL have talents to contribute within society. I need you to help me realize what mine is. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

8. Thou shall not exclude me from activities.
Please do not mimic me, ignore me, or bully me. Please invite me to play with you. It hurts my feelings when I am excluded. I like to run and jump in the playground, and be invited to birthday parties too. Grownups can help me make friends by encouraging other children to play with me. I can be a loyal friend if you get to know me.

9. Thou shall give me choices.
I do not like being ordered about any more than the other children. Give me choices so I know you value my capabilities and opinions. Make them simple and concise. Present two options or so. I get confused when too many questions or directions are given at one time due to my processing speed. For instance, ask me if I would like to wear my blue sweater or green one, rather than asking which sweater I would like to wear.

10. Thou shall not judge me by my diagnosis, but by my character.
I am an individual, just like other children. As my son used to say, “Mom my name is John (name changed for his anonymity) not Asperger’s”. A profound statement I would say. :-0)

Part Two: Ten Commandments of Parents with Kids on the Autism Spectrum

1) Thou shall not avoid my family when you see us in a public place. Autism is not a communicable disease. It is merely a way of life. You will not catch it by being my friend. Hang out with me and my family and learn about us. Once you understand our challenges it will be self-evident that we have hopes, dreams, and feelings. We love our children just as much as you love yours. Who knows, you might grow to accept us if you give us a chance.

2) Thou shall not judge my family. If my child is having a meltdown and seems inconsolable, do not assume I am an incompetent parent. You cannot always judge a book by its cover. Do not tell me that my child is spoiled. Ask me why I cannot control him, or tell me that my child needs to be punished. He is already punished enough by remarks from people who assume they know what is best for my family, even when they do not even know us. I am attempting to be a good parent. Your negative remarks hurt me greatly. Your positive remarks give me the internal strength to go on, and rejuvenate my belief in me and my child.

3) Thou shall be patient. My child may have a large expressive vocabulary. This is rote knowledge that has been memorized. In this case, he may not process (receptive language) what others say unless it is presented in a literal, concise, and direct manner. My child may lack a large vocabulary (expressive vocabulary) but make no mistake that he can comprehend you through his receptive vocabulary. Get to know my child and convey messages through his learning style. You will be surprised at what a wonderful child he is if you get to know him.

4) Thou shall not snub my other children. It is difficult for neurotypical siblings to grow up with a sibling that has special needs. My heart breaks for my children when other children decline sleepovers, parties, and more because of my special needs child. Providing equal attention to all my children is quite the balancing act.. Their learning disabled sibling occasionally requires more time and energy then them. This is not by choice but necessity. Please make a point to help out and make my other children feel welcome at your home or functions.

5) Thou shall not judge my housekeeping skills. My house may occasionally be in disarray. That mess is a sign of love; a sign of a family that has placed priorities on going to therapy appointments, doctors, social groups, and more over the importance of several dust balls. We balance jobs, carpools, and daycare, just like the rest of society as well.

6) Thou shall believe in my child. Do not call my child stupid, lazy, spoiled, selectively deaf, a brat, and more. My child has a neurological impairment which can affect processing skills, focusing, expressive or receptive speech, and internal control mechanisms, i.e. “losing it”. There is an old phrase, “We become what we hear.” The self-fulfillment prophecy is alive and well. My child tries hard to learn, control his behavior, socialize, etc. Please attempt to tell him what is right with him, not only what is wrong. Role model appropriate behavior for the child. Children become what children see.

7) Thou shall accept me and my family for who we are. My child may not appear to have challenges on the exterior. Appearances can be deceiving. I can equate this with a cast. If an individual is wearing a cast, we know they have a broken arm. Children with autism often appear the same as all other children When you deal with my child, please remember that his emotional age is roughly four years behind his chronological age. Keep that in mind when creating expectations for him. My child cannot be fixed.. He can be smothered with acceptance. His Asperger’s has created the young man that we have grown to love and admire. We would not change him for anything. He and I both needs society’s acceptance.

8) Thou shall not assume my child is being defiant. My child’s difficulties with receptive language can mimic defiance. When directions are not broken down into literal simple steps, he may appear to be ignoring you. He is not being defiant. He did not understand your directions. Tell him to pick up the books in the classroom, put them on the bookshelf, than sit down. This will most often result in compliance. Do not just say “put the books away”. He most likely will not know which books, where, when, or how. Be patient, as he really wants to please you.

9) Thou shall tell parents of autistic kids what they do well:.We struggle with our child’s special needs, attempt to carve out time with our other children so they do not feel left out, carve out time for our spouse, attempt to create a copacetic environment for our families, love and accept unconditionally, and more. We parents are occasionally insecure regarding our parenting skills. We are not immune to the glaring disapproving eyes, and mumbles of disapproval regarding our parenting style of our special needs kids. We need support and understanding from you as we feel helpless when we cannot help our child during a meltdown, etc. Please tell us what we do right occasionally and offer to lend a hand. It means the world to a parent of a special needs child to receive a compliment regarding them or their child when the parent feels like giving up hope.

10) Last but not least, thou shall remember that we are all on this earth to make a contribution to society. Children on the spectrum make contributions as well. You just have to look a little deeper. For me, my son has taught me to be more patient, humbled me, taught me to look at what is good now and not worry about what may not happen ten years down the road. I do not take things for granted because of my experiences. My husband and I learned the meaning of teamwork. Most of all, my son has taught me to never underestimate what strides he will make in our world. It may be on his timeframe and not mine. We are climbing to the peak of the mountain, with occasional slips, but climbing higher every day none the less.

Part Three: Ten Commandments For Educators Who Teach Kids on the Autism Spectrum

1) Thou shall not perceive me as a diagnosis. It is not true that once you have worked with an autistic child, you have worked with them all. There are many different degrees of autism–hence the meaning of the term, “Autism Spectrum.” We have distinct personalities and talents, just like you. We may present ourselves as nonverbal, verbal, have advanced expressive vocabularies, receptive vocabularies, be aggressive, shy, funny, or ambulatory. We may have mobility issues, be extremely social or shy, or have gifted IQs, or low IQs. Spend time getting to know me. You may learn to appreciate my talents, and the contributions that I can make within the classroom and to my classmates.

2) Thou shall not assume that I am defiant. :-0) My ears are extremely sensitive. If I am sitting at my desk and you give me directives from the other side of the classroom, I may not hear you correctly. I have difficulty desensitizing myself from sounds. I may be struggling with attempting to block out the whirring of a pencil sharpener, ticking clock, rain beating on the window pane, and the humming of the fluorescent lights. They often hurt my ears and create one jumbled sound. The sound may be so intrusive to my sensitive ears that they hurt. If you want to give me directions, please walk over to me and look me in the eye to get my attention. Be specific and concise when conveying what you wish for me to accomplish. I am a concrete thinker. For instance, ask me to get my coat from the coatroom, than go back to my desk and sit down, and wait to be excused for recess. Do not merely say, get ready for recess. This is too obscure. I want to please you, I really do, but you need to help me out with this.

3) Thou shall help me learn to socialize with my peers. I may appear to be avoiding my classmates. This does not mean I do not want to socialize. Children on the spectrum want friends and need to be included just like anyone else. My issue is that I often do not know how. Perhaps you could encourage the other children to include me in their games. You could role model proper techniques for social interaction, how to read body language, and empathize. For instance, if my classmate has a bellyache, you could point out that his tummy hurts and that maybe I should tell him I hope he feels better soon.

4) Thou shall catch me being good. Please make an attempt to point out my positive behavior, actions, and character traits. If I only hear about what is wrong with me, I will feel as though I am unworthy and withdraw. If I merely get attention from you when I am in the midst of a meltdown, or presenting inappropriate behavior, I may become conditioned to misbehave so I can gain your attention. This is the self fulfilling prophecy at work. Give me positive attention through praise, and you will build my positive self-efficacy. Help me believe in myself. If all I receive is negative attention, I will still crave it. Remember: in this case, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

5) Thou shall not attempt to embarrass me. Please do not compare me to siblings who were in your class. Do not compare me to classmates, embarrass me, or mimic me if I am frustrated. That hurts my feelings, and leaves me feeling more frustrated. I work twice as hard as my neurotypical peers to perform academically and socially. Embarrassing me will not force me to “straighten out’. That will merely force me to withdraw further within the academic environment, because I feel as though I cannot measure up to your expectations of me. Please try to remember that my emotional age is behind my chronological age. Please treat the behavior, not the child. I depend on you for external control.

6) Thou shall practice reflective observation and remediation. If I become distracted, hyperactive, speak out of turn, or agitated, please attempt to find out why I am doing so. It is easier to prevent a behavioral issue than to try and remediate it afterwards. If you notice the early warning signs, you may be able to make adaptations to prevent escalation. Once my behavior has gotten out of hand it will be difficult to assist me with getting back on task. Simple techniques may work. If I am having difficulty focusing, seem agitated, or become socially inappropriate, the bright fluorescent lights may be hurting my eyes. Please remember that my five senses are hypersensitive and I can become over-stimulated by everyday sights, smells, and sounds. Perhaps, dimming the lights in the room may calm me down. If I appear hyperactive, perhaps you could find a job for me to do in the classroom. The job could be as simple as making me a helper and asking me to hand out paper, or art supplies to the other children, pass out homework etc. so I can stretch my legs without being singled out in front of my classmates. If I am distracted by the other children while expected to take a test, perhaps you will allow me to wear earplugs to squelch my hypersensitivity to noise. I know I can be a lot of work at times, especially in a inclusive classroom. It is worth your effort, I assure you. It is a win-win situation for me and my classmates. They will learn to accept and respect differences in people through their interactions with me. They will carry this empathy into adulthood and the workplace. In turn, I will learn appropriate social skills through observation of my neurotypical classmates. With your assistance, the other children will learn to note and appreciate my talents and contributions within the classroom. I will learn how to be a member of a group who appreciates me. This in turn will boost my positive self-efficacy.

7) Thou shall not attempt to fix me. I cannot be fixed. I am not the equivalent of a broken engine in your automobile that merely needs some adjustments here and there to run like new. Besides, my mom and dad say they like me just the way I am. Respect me for the gifts and talents that I bring into your classroom (and I have many!). You can help me by teaching me compensatory strategies. For instance, teach me to go to a quiet area in the class to read, or to play quietly when I am over-stimulated. At first, I may need many verbal or physical prompts from you to recognize the signs of over-stimulation. As time goes by, I will internalize this mode of redirection through repetition and go to my quiet places independently. Remember to praise me verbally, or with a reward when I do so. I need to know that you noticed–it makes me feel proud of myself. For example, I may love to write but have issues with my pincer grip. Holding a pencil makes my hand hurt. Perhaps you could put a gripper on my pencil to increase my grasp and initiative to write so I do not go on strike during lessons.

8. Thou shall not say negative things about me. Please do not speak poorly of me to other teachers, parents, or students. My feelings get hurt when I observe you telling other individuals that I am a handful, that I take away time from the other students, shouldn’t be in your class, or push your buttons. Please do not refer to me as a bad seed, “that” one, a hateful child, unlikable, lazy, or defiant. This is unprofessional and inappropriate, especially when you talk while I am in the room. If you speak negatively of me and I misbehave, I am following your negative expectations of me, and living up to them. I may learn differently, but I can hear and comprehend your unkind conversations. I am not a diagnosis; I am a child like all the other children in my class. Please remember, I am dependent on you to help me hone my skills and succeed in life. I need your support.

9) Thou shall differentiate instruction. Differentiated instruction does not mean giving me different assignments or dumbed down assignments. Differentiated instruction is done by making accommodations so I can be included in the same projects and assignments as my classmates. If we are using shaving cream paint during art class, I may not want to put my hands in it due to sensitivity to textures. Perhaps you could offer me a tongue depressor to put the shaving cream on. This way, I can do the same art project as my peers while taking my sensitivity to textures into account. If we are doing a group history project on the colonial era, you may take advantage of my visual perception. I may not read well, but may be capable of building a scale model of a fort. Thus other children could research and present a report and I could provide the props. Perhaps you could allow me to take a spelling test which contains the same words as the other children orally if I have difficulty with handwriting. If we are presenting a play, the loud music and crowd may bother me. Perhaps I could change props, or be in charge of opening and closing the curtains during the performance instead.

10) Thou shall perceive as a human being. Please remember that every child has both positive and negative traits. Attempt to teach me what mine is are. Your investment in me will pay off in the future. Who knows, with a little help from my teacher, I could grow up to be the next leader of our country. I believe in you, will you believe in me?

I especially love her quote–>”Please join me in my utopian world where society perceives individuals as a whole, and does not judge them merely in character segments.”

I would like to thank Mari for allowing us to publish her information here on our news and autism site.

If everyone would just live by them.

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Flash Mob Las Vegas Town Center Best Buddies March 10, 2012

We had the opportunity to attend an event Sponsored by Best Buddies Las Vegas. One of my sons are involved in best Buddies. He is still waiting on a buddy of his own, but has attended and enjoyed a number of events. They held a flash mob at the Town Center in Las Vegas on March 10, 2012. My wife and our 3 autistic kids enjoyed the event. I had fun as well.

Here are 5 youtube videos that I recorded at the event.

Watch this video on YouTube.

Watch this video on YouTube.

Watch this video on YouTube.

Watch this video on YouTube.

Watch this video on YouTube.

A shout out to the best Buddies of Las Vegas.

We are also trying to help the special needs community and autism via our news website and autism nonprofit.

Please help us to make a difference via tech, music, the arts for people with autism!!

For further information on Best Buddies Las Vegas here is a link to their facebook page–>http://www.facebook.com/bestbuddies.nv

our site https://technewszone.com